The Proverbs 31 Woman versus Super Mom

I had posted a question on The Naptime CEO Facebook page about which characteristic of the Proverbs 31 woman is your favorite. Surprisingly, some of the responses were that she hires people to help. This is a topic that is full of conflict for many moms.

If I asked you if you could use help around your house, how many of you would say yes?
Now, how many of you would feel guilty for having someone else come in to help around your house?

I fully admit I need help around the house, but for the longest time I felt like I was failing as a wife/mother/business owner if I didn't do it all myself. The problem was I wasn't getting any of it done well.

If you're at all like me, I'm a control freak who thinks it's easier if I just do it myself instead of asking someone else to do it. However, I've learned whenever I think "Oh, I can do that." I need to tell myself "STOP" and really think if it's something only I can do or could someone else do that.

Initially, when I started my consulting firm, I had to do it all. I had very little money to pay anyone else, and I had plenty of time. Honestly, at the time I had a 6 month old and I was fine just working during naptimes. Yet, once my daughter was born, I realized trying to run a consulting firm during naptimes with a newborn and an 18 month old was just too difficult. I needed a babysitter. This was the first time I hired someone to help me. Our babysitter watched our children two mornings a week so I could have actual office hours to get work done, schedule phone calls, & meetings. If you're just starting out, this is probably where you will start too.

The next step for me was to get help around the house. When I'm working with clients all day or in my office, I'm not doing laundry, dishes, vacuuming, or scrubbing toilets. Then when the kids get home from school, I'm in Mama mode with dinner, homework, piano, dance lessons, & cub scouts. By the time everyone is tucked in and the dinner dishes are done, I am beat. It took me a while to agree, but I finally hired a cleaning service to come in every two weeks.

At the same time I was getting my house under control, I was also bringing in help in my consulting firm. I hired a college student to do administrative work for me. Finally, I didn't have to spend hours entering data into our customer database, recording expenses in QuickBooks, or filing paperwork.

What I've discovered through this process is as I hand off tasks to others, I free myself up to be able to do more business development work or just spending time with my kids. I'm still a control freak, but am learning to relax and delegate.

What task(s) have you gotten help with - or would like to get help with?

Top 10 Things To Do During Naptime

Ahh, it's that blissful time of day when your little one has gone down for a nap. So what should you do with the next hour and a half? (or more if you're lucky) Resist the temptation to nap yourself and try this list.

1. Make a cup of coffee or tea so you can actually enjoy it while it's still hot and you tackle the rest of your list.

2. Write a blog post so you are adding new content to your site for your followers and clients. Do this first before the next few items so you are doing something proactive to build your business.

3. Check voice mails and return calls. It's early enough into naptime that the risk of your child waking up is low and it's far enough into naptime, that they should be asleep by now.

4. Check emails and reply to them. Emails always come after voice mails, because they tend to be less urgent and you can always save a draft if you have to quickly tend to your child.

5. SCAN social media sites. This can be a big time suck which is why it's further down the list. Quickly scan your feeds for any interaction, retweets, comments, repins, etc. Reply as appropriate, but set yourself a time limit - say 15 minutes.

6. Shift the laundry. Yes, you're a naptime CEO, but you still need to manage your home too. This is also a good way to limit your time on social media.

7. Find one or two good articles or blog posts to share. These can be for your social media feeds, upcoming newsletter, clients, or prospects. It helps you stay on top of your industry and positions you as a resource for your clients.

8. Empty and refill the dishwasher. It's probably mid afternoon by now and it's a good time to clean up the kitchen from breakfast and lunch. It will help you stay on track so you don't spend the rest of naptime reading blogs and make sure the kitchen is ready for snack time and dinner.

9. Work on proposal. If you have client work that can be done in 30 minutes or less or that can be broken into sections, do it now. It helps you build momentum so you complete more of your tasks and positions you for your next big work session. I often outline my proposals or training material then fill in all the details at night.

10. Update QuickBooks. This is something that needs to be done on a daily or weekly basis. Trust me, you do not want this to pile up and have to do it all at the end of the month or - heaven forbid - the end of the quarter. I've been there and it's not fun.

Bonus: Realize that even with the best planning, it will be hard to get through your entire To Do list. If your children are still in the phase where they take two naps a day, break up your list. If not, just break it up between you naptime work session and your night or early morning work session. But don't beat yourself up if you don't get it all done, because tomorrow is another day. I always reminded myself that a bad day as a Naptime CEO was still better than a good day living in a cubical.

Jot this down.... where?

Ok, so here's one more story for you. This past Friday I was running around getting things ready for my son's birthday party. Wouldn't you know I got four business calls that afternoon. My husband had also taken the day off, so I went to run a couple errands while he stayed with the kids.

Since I was in the car by myself I decided to check my voice mail and return a few calls. As I'm listening to my messages, I realize I don't have my planner, or anything I can take notes on for that matter, no big deal, I'll just listen and return calls on Monday. One of the messages was from the president of a company I have been trying to get a contract with for six months. He wanted me to call him back that afternoon - I needed something to write on now! I'm thinking - How can I not have a single piece of paper in this car! Then it dawns on me, I have diapers in my purse for my daughter. I can take notes on the back of the diaper then transfer them to my planner when I get home. I just need to make sure I do it before I forget and put the diaper on her.

I'm glad I called back that president, we have a meeting scheduled for next week. As for taking notes on a diaper - it's not the easiest thing in the world - but it works!

Training Materials, Rice, and Stickers

I know it's been a while and I have so many great stories to share. It's been busy here with me traveling and then getting called for jury duty - which by the way was fascinating. I know everyone tries to get out of jury duty, but it's so interesting. I'm actually very glad I was chosen and got to sit on a jury. If you have the chance, do it.

Ok, a couple weeks ago I was preparing for the first session of a Six Sigma Black Belt course I'm teaching. I had everything ready except the CDs for the students with the training material. I decided to bring my laptop upstairs and burn the CDs in the kitchen while my kids ate lunch. It was Naomi's day off how hard could this be? HAHAHA!

I set up my laptop on one part of my counter (away from any water or food sources) and the labels and cases for the CDs on another part of the counter. I got my children seated at the table with some chicken-flavored rice (one of their favorite foods). After I finish burning the first CD, I get the second started and take the first over to stick the label on it and slide it into sleeve. I thought I had a smooth process worked out. Then my son jumped down "I want stickers too!" he starts shouting. I peel parts of the unused paper off for him to play with and he proceeds to stick them on himself and chase Jake, our dog. I tell him to stop chasing Jake as I continue my CD making process.

Meanwhile, my daughter is still happily eating her rice. Ever once and a while my son pops back in for another "sticker" to play with. Suddenly, I wonder what has been happening with all the stickers. As I casually ask him what he's doing with the stickers, he replies "Nothin' mommy." This is when I realize he has stuck them to our wooden kitchen table, my couch, and on himself. (Have I mentioned he's in the stage where he only wants to run around in his underwear?) I go start unpeeling the stickers from the couch and his body. As I head back into the kitchen to continue burning the CDs, check on my daughter, and peel the stickers - I hope - off my table, I hear her laughing. I turn the corner to see her holding her hand out and Jake licking it off. I ask her "What did you just feed Jake?" See simply and innocently looked at me, held her one hand out to her side, and said "Nothin'." How's that for an 18 month-old?

I then spent the next 15 minutes cleaning up rice and stickers from the kitchen and children's bodies all while trying to not get rice stuck on the training CDs or in the CD sleeves. Believe it or not the CDs turned out just great.

Staples and Schedules

Ok, if you've noticed my tagline, you'll see that it reads part-time CEO and full-time mom. The reason I picked it is two-fold, first because I don't work a traditional five-day week. The other reason is because I think most moms regardless of how many hours a week you work are still a mom and when a child is sick or gets hurt, you a usually the one that stays with the child.

Last Tuesday, my son got his first official injury. He was running laps around our downstairs when he tripped or bounced into the couch (I'm not really sure what happened, I was trying to find and pick up his socks so we could go to our cell group meeting at church.) That spun him around and he fell backwards into the doorway from our family room to the foyer. Of course, he began really crying and I quickly swooped him up. As I'm sitting there rocking him and trying to sooth him I decide to just quickly check the back of his head to make sure everything is ok - that's when I saw the blood. He had split the back of his head open. Ed and I actually stayed quite calm, getting him cleaned up a bit. Ed took him to the ER for staples and they were back home in less than three hours.

Now, here's the challenge, I had two meetings scheduled for the next day, plus a dentist appointment. What do I do? As a mom, I want to stay home and baby my child, as a CEO I know I have commitments to my clients. So, I waited to see how he was in the morning. My dentist appointment was at 8:20 am and my son went with me just as we had planned - and you know what - he was fine. So I went to my first meeting about 25 minutes away then stopped back at home - he's still fine. In fact, he has to be told no running in the house today. Three staples in the back of his head and it hasn't slowed him down one bit. I worked in the basement for a few more hours before my afternoon meeting 10 minutes away. The boy is still fine.

Step two to this process is getting the staples out. My son has to go this Thursday at 2:30 pm. I was supposed to be meeting with a client two hours away that day. Ed has a meeting at 3 pm that he can't change or move. So, guess who changed their meeting? Yep, I did. Because like I said at the beginning, it doesn't matter how many hours a week you work, when you're a mom - you are always a mom and that is your first priority. So I will be traveling north to met my client tomorrow instead and taking my son to the doctors on Thursday to get his staples out. My kids may not remember all these things when they're older - I just hope they remember that their mom was there for them.

Inaugurations, Snow Storms, and Clients

So I have to confess I have been very conflicted all day over a few issues. Of course, today is the inauguration of our 44th president, Barak Obama. I was a bit surprised at feeling so conflicted. While I did not vote for him, I had committed after the election to be open to his presidency because I believe in our process and our constitution. Yet, when I got up this morning, I felt sad and frustrated when I didn't want to be. I am glad we can look beyond a person's skin color and elect them into office, yet his policies and stance on many issues unnerve me. I will continue to pray for him and all our elected officials, but I'm also going to speak up when I think they're wrong.

The next issue I was conflicted over was actually going to work today. I knew I had to leave and would be gone overnight because I'm doing an all-day training session with a client tomorrow and I didn't want to drive for 2+ hours early in the morning. What caught me off guard was another potential client calling me yesterday to set-up a 1pm meeting today. I should be glad, this is another opportunity of business and a Fortune 500 company which is great for my marketing efforts. the downside is this company is 3 hours from my home in good weather and of course it's snowing today. I didn't really want to leave early, I wanted to hang out with my kids and watch the movie Cars with them (for the 80th time). But since I couldn't risk being late, I left almost four hours before my meeting. It was a good thing, I saw three cars off the road on my way up.

Now, I'm in my room preparing for tomorrow's training. I've talked to Ed who briefly filled me on the day. He said they were tired this evening and he got them bathed and in bed by 7pm. but since he was on his cell phone from work, he couldn't really talk to me for long, so I don't even know what they had for dinner. I miss being home with them, playing, and putting them to bed. On the other hand, I actually got to soak in the tub tonight - which is a rarity for me. So I'm ending my day the same way I began it - conflicted. I enjoy the work I do and am thankful for the opportunity to run my own business and yet, I feel the guilt of being gone - especially overnight.

What I have learned so far, is I'm not going to get it right every time, but I keep trying. (That's becoming a theme on this blog). Fortunately, I get it right more times than I get it wrong. So for now, I'll enjoy the quite time I have and look forward to getting home tomorrow night to the noise and the chaos.

Timing Is Everything

So I thought I would share with you an incident that happened over the holidays. As I've mentioned before in this blog, balancing my roles as Mom and CEO can be quite a challenge. Some days I do well, some days not so well. Of course, having Naomi here makes a huge difference for me to get it right. However, over the holidays we all took "vacation." That doesn't necessarily mean I didn't work - it just wasn't formally planned. Here's my case in point...

The week before Christmas I had gotten an e-mail inquiry from a potential client about one of my training courses. I replied to his e-mail with some additional information. He then wrote back that he would like to set -up a phone call to discuss the training in more depth with himself and a couple others at his plant. Well, since I didn't have Naomi here I would have to schedule it for 12:15 pm when my husband, Ed, is home for lunch. I also picked the day I had to take my daughter to the doctor's for her 15 month check-up. While that might sound strange, you'll see why in a bit. The potential client e-mailed back that he could do the day and time I had suggested. Here's where my balance part comes in...

At 8:05 am the morning of the call, the prospect calls my cell phone. Well, both kids are up and I'm trying to get them breakfast so there's no way I can answer the phone. It goes to voice mail and I check it while making the kids scrambled eggs and toast. He's calling to confirm our call. My voice mail states I return all calls within two hours. Well, my daughter's doctor's appointment is at 10 am, so I plan to return his call while I'm in the car on the way to the doctors. The kids are usually quite in the car and I use my bluetooth earpiece. At 8:45 am I start getting both kids dressed, teeth brushed, and on the potty/diaper changed. My son then has a fit - he does not want to take his sister to the doctor's because he doesn't want her to get a shot and cry. Finally, at 9:40 am we are heading downstairs to get into the car. Since my son is still quite upset about taking his little sister to the doctor's I can't make the call in the car. While we're in the doctor's office, the prospect calls again. After the appointment, while we're still in the parking lot, I listen to the message - he is just confirming the call and the attendees. I leave the doctor's office and we stop by the train tracks so my son can watch for trains. I take the opportunity to return my prospect's call. We confirm the time and number.

As I pull into our garage at home, my daughter is asleep. I put her in bed and take my son down to my office. It's 12:05 pm. I get everything ready for my call. Ed pulls in at 12:13 pm and takes our son upstairs for lunch. I get on my call at exactly 12:15 pm. The call goes well and we wrap up by 12:40 pm. I head upstairs to the kitchen to see Ed before he goes back to work and finish lunch with my son. Perfect timing. Now, I can spend the rest of the afternoon racing trucks and reading stories with my kiddos. Life is good!

Business Phone Etiquitte

Why is it that as soon as you get on the phone you become the center of attention for your kids? There are only about three people that I will take business calls from when I'm at home with my children. These people have their own children and understand the challenges of working out of your home.

I strive to run a very professional firm, but I certainly struggled with that today. I got a call this afternoon from one of those few people I take calls from with kids around. I should have know it was not gong to go as smoothly as it does when we're outside. My son had not napped in three days and had been whining since 8am this morning. My daughter actually had napped and just finished a snack, so she should have been fine, right? Wrong. Instead, as soon as I got on the phone I had both of them standing at my feet crying to be picked up. As I'm trying to talk about an upcoming project, I'm hurriedly grabbing the bowl of grapes out of the refrigerator to try and distract them. My son is trying to reach into the bowl on the counter to pick off the grapes as I'm now rummaging for a knife to cut-up my daughter's grapes. The grapes tide them over for a few minutes. We continue discussing the client's problem and what we're trying to accomplish there when my dynamic duo are at it again. this time I try to distract them by getting them to play with their football. This works for a few more minutes until my son finds his drum. He's now playing his drum and following me around the house. I'm trying to stay a room ahead of him so I can try to wrap up my conversation. Seven minutes and 40 seconds after answering the phone, I hang-up the phone, I turn around to see both kids heading off to play in their kitchen. I'm pretty sure I saw them glancing back at me smiling to each other.

So while today was not one of my best mom/ceo balance days, hey, we made it through the day. I'm sure things will smooth out after the holidays when Naomi comes back. (Naomi is the wonderful girl who watches my kids while I work - she is a huge part of why I can do what I do.) In the meantime, I'm trying to keep to e-mails at night.

Proposals vs. Potty Training

Ok, so I really didn't think I would be able to post more than twice a week, so you can imagine my surprise at having two posts in one afternoon. If you read my earlier post you know I was trying to get some work done while my son was supposed to be napping. He wasn't and it was overly ambitious of me to think I could get much done.

We've been potty training for about a month now, and he's been doing really well and we don't have many accidents. He does still have to wear a diaper at night though. I do remind him about going on the potty through out the day. So as I'm here sending off a quick e-mail, my son takes off to the bathroom saying "I have to go potty mommy and I need help." followed by "It's too late mommy, it's too late!" I quickly try to minimize my e-mail and accidentally shut it down - shoot! - now I lost the e-mail I just spent 5 minutes typing. I run into the bathroom to see him in just his underwear, peeing all over the floor saying "I need help mommy!" (Thank goodness we have vinyl flooring). I pick him up as he's still peeing and plop him on the toilet. He still has his underwear on, but I figure they're already wet and that's less I have to clean up off the floor. I go to get the paper towels and the Clorox wipes to start cleaning up the floor and my phone rings. It's a contact I've been trying to get in touch with for two days. I need her commitment for a proposal I was tying to submit. I can't take the call and let my voice mail pick up. As I'm cleaning up the floor and my son, I'm thinking of the project I was trying to co-ordinate with this contact. It was one of those where you have to get the team and proposal together quickly and be ready to launch the project in the next two weeks. I've already spent almost a week on this proposal and know that I may have lost today as well. This delay might even cost me the project, but that's what happens when you try to balance this work with being a mom. And at this moment, potty training outweighs the proposal. (Maybe in her voice mail my contact said she's in for the project. )

Business and Babies Background

Let me start this blog by saying I don't know much about them, except for one or two that I occasionally read. I'm not even sure if people will find and read this blog. Before I had children, I enjoyed journaling, but have not been able to find the time to do that. I figure this will be a good outlet for me to keep friends and family up-to-date, and something I can look back on.

There are lots of challenges and joys of running a consulting firm out of your home - especially when you have two toddlers running around the house. The focus of this blog will be to give others a sneak-peek of my life and how I try to juggle everything.

So here's a brief background on me and my life. I left my full-time corporate job when my son was six-months old to start my own consulting firm. My goal was to be home with my son and still work in my field and bring in some extra money. Fast forward one year, and my daughter was born. Within that year, I had begun building my consulting firm and landed some nice projects. Of course, I had to do it all during naptime. When I did have to go to a client's site, I would have a close friend watch my son. Today, my son is 2 1/2 (soon to be 3) and my daughter is 15 months. I still run my business out of my house three days a week (plus evenings and weekends) and it has continued to grow.

It's taken me about 45 minutes to write this entry. As I've been trying to write this, my son decided he was not going to take his nap, so I got him settled on the couch to watch a VeggieTales video. Nap or not, he still needs some quiet time. After about 10 minutes, he decided he was going to crawl up on my lap and try to count the keys on my laptop. Then, a client called. Fortunately, this client knows I work from home with kids and I was able to take the call. I usually don't take business calls when the kids are up or our sitter is not here. While I'm on the phone with my client, my son is trying to hit the keys on my laptop and asking for the penguins game. I quickly minimize my blog and e-mail windows to try to prevent any mishaps, move the laptop, and pull him off the chair, all while still holding a conversation with my client. After hanging up the phone, I get him settled back on the couch, find his little green bear, and get his move restarted. I better get this posted since his movie is almost over - and he's not asleep yet. I hear his sister stirring - she actually did take a nap - and I'm expecting two more client calls this afternoon.