Overcoming the Obstacles to Your Dreams

It breaks my heart to see and hear so many parents who want to be more involved in raising their children and yet feel trapped in their current situation unable to make a change. It's as if they are standing on the edge of a cliff and can see the promised land, but just don't know how to get there.

When I talk with my friends who are still working full-time, they often will say, "I wish I could run a business from home like you do, but..."

"... I would never make as much as I do now."
"... I have no idea what I would do or how to start."
"... I just don't have the discipline."
"... my spouse would never go for it."
"... it seems so risky."

Maybe you've said this, or something similar. The problem is, they are all lies.

I truly believe, that if your desire is to be more available to raise your children instead of being gone living in a cubical for nine hours a day, you can make it happen. To get there, you need to ask yourself what is holding you back from achieving your dream?

1. Money This is by far the number one reason I hear people say they can't be a Naptime CEO. But let's be honest, when we say that, we are saying we value our paycheck and our lifestyle more than being with our family. Would you be willing to scale back your lifestyle to achieve your dreams? When I quit my job to launch my consulting firm, we lost 65% of our income! Do you think I was nervous? Absolutely! But my husband and I were willing to make big sacrifices if necessary to make it work. We cut out eating out, we actually got on a budget, we were willing to sell one of our cars, and if necessary our house. Did I really want to sell our house, no, but if we had to scale down to be able to make our dream a reality we would.

2. Getting Started I hear this more so with the moms I talk with than the dads and I believe it's because moms tend to play down and undervalue their skill set. Knowing what your gifts and talents are is a huge first step to building a successful business. Once you know what you are gifted at, then you can begin developing your target market, products or services, and a marketing strategy. For this step it really helps to work with a coach or mentor who can help you see the potential. I've hired coaches before and paid to attend seminars and it was an invaluable investment in myself and my business.

3. Discipline Can you really stay focused on work when you're office is in your home? How many times have you taken a work-from-home day from your regular job and gotten 10x as much accomplished than you do in the office because you don't have the interruptions? Trust me, my husband is convinced I have OSS syndrome- Oh So Shiny syndrome - because I can be so easily distracted. The beauty of being a Naptime CEO is the integration of your work and life. The key is carving out chunks of time for work, home, and play time and being purposeful about what you want to accomplish. Besides, does it really matter if you decide to wash the breakfast dishes at 10 am and write training material at 10 pm?

4. Spousal Support This is a big deal. If you want to become a Naptime CEO, you need to have your spouse on board. Many times, we simply assume our spouse would never go for it without ever discussing the possibility with them. Other times, our spouse is hesitant because they don't know anything about the business we want to start or we haven't shown them a good solid plan. If you get your spouse more involved in what you want to do and have a solid, logical plan, including a reasonable transition, you might be surprised how supportive they can be.

5. Risk The other common reason I hear people say they can't do it is because they think it's too risky. Now some of that may be because they haven't laid out a plan as I mentioned in #4. Often though, it's because there is this false sense of security of being an employee. Yet, as someone who has been laid off in my career and seen other bright, strong performers get laid off, I really believe that entrusting your future and financial stability to a single income source (your employer) is a very risky decision. I would much rather be running a business with three, four, or five different clients plus two other income streams from say product sales and speaking engagements. Then if a client no longer needs my help, I still have other revenue coming in while I replace that one client.

So when you catch yourself saying, "I would love to do that, but..." really evaluate your reason to see if it is a valid reason or if it's just a fear that can be overcome.

If you want to be a Naptime CEO, or are now, what is or has held you back? If you overcame an obstacle, how did you do it?

When I Grow Up....

Do you remember being a child and what you wanted to be when you grew up?

I remember wanting to be "on the stage," a paleontologist, and a truck driver (no lie!).

Entrepreneur was never on my list, although I am often "on the stage." :)

What is fascinating to me is how we as parents influence our children, just by the type of work we pursue. I grew up in a home with parents who worked traditional jobs just like all my friends' parents. My dad worked in construction and my mom worked in a doctor's office once my sister and I were both in school. So growing up, I remember playing "college" and putting on performances on our back deck.

My children on the other hand, have grown up with an entrepreneur for a Mama. My nearly 7 y.o. son for years has insisted that he is NOT going to college because he is going to start a business instead. Two years ago he was going to open his own karate school and call it the School of the Laughing Dragon. For the past year, he has decided he wants to own a mall that has an indoor water park in it. He also wants to design and invent different contraptions and sell them.

My 5 y.o. daughter also plans to start her own business. She is currently going back and forth between opening a dance academy or a day spa. While some children play doctor or teacher, my kids walk around pretending they are on the phone or their laptops with their clients trying to close contracts. (Trust me, they also spend lots of time chasing each other around pretending they're dogs or horses.)

When I think back to being 16 and trying to decide what I wanted to do when I grew up, it seemed the options were very narrow. I loved playing the piano and performing on stage but I was also very good at at science and math. So the logic went something like this... it's very difficult to make a living in the performing arts and I can always have that in my life so I'll pursue science. I like solving problems, so I guess that means I'll be an engineer. Case closed. No thought into what my strengths or weaknesses were - I actually don't like details. No thought into what I was passionate about or what type of environment would be best for me. Working in a cube was stifling for me.

Now I see the world differently and it seems that has opened so many more options for my children. We talk about things like what they are gifted at doing, logos, and the difference between cost and profit. Not only do they hear it from me, but they are around our friends who are business owners.

Do they understand all of this - no, I'm sure not. But, I believe it is sinking in.

Does this mean they are definitely going to be entrepreneurs? Not at all, and that's okay. My hope is that they grow up having a much clearer understanding of how God has gifted them and the unique role they have in His plan. Which would put them much further ahead than I was.

What did you want to do when you grew up and how are you trying to guide your children?

Top 10 Things To Do During Naptime

Ahh, it's that blissful time of day when your little one has gone down for a nap. So what should you do with the next hour and a half? (or more if you're lucky) Resist the temptation to nap yourself and try this list.

1. Make a cup of coffee or tea so you can actually enjoy it while it's still hot and you tackle the rest of your list.

2. Write a blog post so you are adding new content to your site for your followers and clients. Do this first before the next few items so you are doing something proactive to build your business.

3. Check voice mails and return calls. It's early enough into naptime that the risk of your child waking up is low and it's far enough into naptime, that they should be asleep by now.

4. Check emails and reply to them. Emails always come after voice mails, because they tend to be less urgent and you can always save a draft if you have to quickly tend to your child.

5. SCAN social media sites. This can be a big time suck which is why it's further down the list. Quickly scan your feeds for any interaction, retweets, comments, repins, etc. Reply as appropriate, but set yourself a time limit - say 15 minutes.

6. Shift the laundry. Yes, you're a naptime CEO, but you still need to manage your home too. This is also a good way to limit your time on social media.

7. Find one or two good articles or blog posts to share. These can be for your social media feeds, upcoming newsletter, clients, or prospects. It helps you stay on top of your industry and positions you as a resource for your clients.

8. Empty and refill the dishwasher. It's probably mid afternoon by now and it's a good time to clean up the kitchen from breakfast and lunch. It will help you stay on track so you don't spend the rest of naptime reading blogs and make sure the kitchen is ready for snack time and dinner.

9. Work on proposal. If you have client work that can be done in 30 minutes or less or that can be broken into sections, do it now. It helps you build momentum so you complete more of your tasks and positions you for your next big work session. I often outline my proposals or training material then fill in all the details at night.

10. Update QuickBooks. This is something that needs to be done on a daily or weekly basis. Trust me, you do not want this to pile up and have to do it all at the end of the month or - heaven forbid - the end of the quarter. I've been there and it's not fun.

Bonus: Realize that even with the best planning, it will be hard to get through your entire To Do list. If your children are still in the phase where they take two naps a day, break up your list. If not, just break it up between you naptime work session and your night or early morning work session. But don't beat yourself up if you don't get it all done, because tomorrow is another day. I always reminded myself that a bad day as a Naptime CEO was still better than a good day living in a cubical.

You Are Not Just Filler

As I look around at my neighbors, acquaintances, and the people who work for some of my clients, I see a lot of people living life as though they are just filler. Their whole existence seems to consist of getting up, going to work, doing enough to not get fired, going home, tending to a couple family things, going to sleep, and then repeating the whole thing the next day. When you ask them about their day or what's new, they reply - in a very monotone voice - "Fine." or "Not much."

When I see them, I sometimes feel like their physical movement is the only thing that proves they are alive. And maybe that's true, because their spirit certainly seems to have died.

Maybe you can relate to this. Most of us have been there at some point. Here's the good news, you were not made to just exist, you were made to thrive!

To quote motorcycle racer Bill McKenna "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to skid across the line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, shouting 'Geronimo!'"

Too many of us are just wandering through life, trying to not scuff our shoes, step out of line, or draw attention to ourselves.

Wake Up! You are not just filler in this life. You were not made just to take up space and exist until you die.

You are uniquely made with gifts, talents, and strengths no one else has. The perspective you have that has been shaped by your life experiences is different from every other person on this planet.

So for you to go through life, not realizing and living in your unique giftings and talents, is to rob yourself and the world from your special abilities.

Most people want to know that their life has meaning. To leave a legacy, to leave something beyond themselves.

Get inspired, get excited! Take some time to understand yourself better. What fires you up? When do you lose all track of time?

When you look at your life as it exists today, ask yourself, "If I disappeared, would anybody notice or miss me?" If the answer to that is "no, not outside my family," you need to change something.

The world desperately needs what you have to offer, so start figuring out what that is.

Are You Striving For......Mediocrity?

You head in to work every day after dropping off your kids at school or daycare and make you way to your office or cube. Check email, check voice mail, review your schedule.

As you go through out your day you have this nagging feeling that you were made for something greater than this. You want to make a difference, make an impact, but it's not happening where you are, and it's not going to.

You feel like an eagle that wants to soar,but someone has put a band around your wings grounding you.

So you drone on through the day, remind yourself that this is called work for a reason, and drag yourself home to your family drained of your energy. You console yourself with the idea that the weekend is coming and you can do what you want then.

Here's the problem, you were made for something greater than this! But everyone around you and everyone you know is living the same life you are.

You're just surviving. You are existing and making it through the day, but your spirit and your passions are dying, if you can even remember what they were.

Why? Why do we allow ourselves to live a life of bland duty, going through the day and the week like a robot?

Because we're afraid. We're afraid others will laugh or criticize our ideas, our dreams.
We're afraid we might fail.
We're afraid we're not smart enough.
We're afraid of what our spouse will say.
We're afraid we won't be able to pay our bills, and what about health insurance?
And on, and on, and on.

The shame is: Fear will always chain us to mediocrity.


When you give up your dreams you surrender to a life of mediocrity. Who wants to live a life of mediocrity? No one, but that's what the majority of Americans choose each and every day.

You were made for greatness.
You were made for such a time as this.
You have unique skills, gifts, and talents that enable you to meet a need that no one else can meet.

By choosing to remain where you are, you are depriving the world of your best - and right now, the world needs your best.

So choose today to strive, not for mediocrity, but for greatness. Together, let's break off the chains that have grounded you and soar!

Don't Bet On Tomorrow

In my last post I said the first step you need to take to start living life is deciding that is what you want. It's the next step where I see many people falter. The second step is to begin taking action today towards your goal. All too often, I talk with people that have excuses as to why they can't start a business and leave their jobs. If they work three more years, they'll be vested for their stock options, then they can start a business. They're up for a promotion, even though they hate managing people, then they'll have the money for a business. After they get the next quarter's bonus and put on that new deck, then they'll think about starting a new business.

And on, and on, and on it goes.

Listen to me, all of those excuses are based on the assumption that you or your family will be around in three months or three years. You are NOT guaranteed a tomorrow. I know, just over three years ago, I was the one getting the call from the doctor with the diagnosis of malignant melanoma. I had already lost a dear friend to this rare and aggressive cancer and did not want that for my family. (Surprising fact: Every hour, someone dies from Melanoma.)

If you want to start your own business, to spend more time with your children, to have more than just a roommate relationship with your spouse, do something today to get you closer to that goal.

What should you do to get started?
- Conduct an inventory of your skills, strengths, and passions
- Brainstorm a list of ideas for businesses (aim for 40 or 50 ideas)
- Identify where your heart is, what makes it sing or brings up righteous anger?
- Research other businesses in your area
- Assess your market
- Run some financials - personal and projected business
- Look into health insurance options if necessary
- Learn how technology can help you
- Find a mentor or coach to guide you

This is just a short list to get you started, but all of these will get you closer to your goal. Once you start down this path and taking action, you will find you have more energy, feel more alive, and have more patience with your family.

Isn't that what we're working towards in the end?

Forget Work/Life Balance, I Just Want A Life!

In the halls and offices of Corporate America, HR directors and other managers talk about the importance of work/life balance and come up with different slogans and posters. Yet at the end of the day, most professionals are working 50 to 60 hours a week in the office, some worse than that. Add on your commute time and the work you do at home and pretty soon you're over 70 hours a week!

How are you supposed to balance your life with that?

In my opinion, you can't.

In my last corporate job, my commute was an hour and a half each way. Since both my husband and I worked in the city, we would wake our then infant son at 5:30 am to get him dropped off at daycare by 6:15 am. We would then work until 5 pm, hopefully get to daycare by 6:30 pm to pick up our son, and arrive home 20 minutes later. After getting changed and making & eating dinner, we would have about an hour to spend with our baby before his bath at 8:30 pm and he was asleep by 9 pm.

What kind of life was that? All we were doing was giving our son a place to sleep.

It was at this point we decided to make a change, that the life we were living was not the life we wanted for our family. I had known for a couple years that I wanted to start a consulting firm, so it didn't take long for me to write up my business and marketing plan. Two short months later, I left my corporate job and became self-employed. (More on that in another post) During naptimes, I ran my consulting firm emailing prospects and scheduling client calls; while my child was awake, I was just mommy. Within 18 months, I was generating more revenues than I had earned as a salary. The best part, was I did almost all my work during naptimes and at night after my children were asleep. On those few occasions when I had to be at a client's office, my children had play dates at a friend's house or spent time with their Pappy.

This was more of a life. This is my desire for you. That you can take your children to the park on a Tuesday morning, teach them how to bake cookies, or just fly a kite on a Wednesday afternoon. The first step is deciding that you want more than just work/life balance, that you want a life.