Overcoming the Obstacles to Your Dreams

It breaks my heart to see and hear so many parents who want to be more involved in raising their children and yet feel trapped in their current situation unable to make a change. It's as if they are standing on the edge of a cliff and can see the promised land, but just don't know how to get there.

When I talk with my friends who are still working full-time, they often will say, "I wish I could run a business from home like you do, but..."

"... I would never make as much as I do now."
"... I have no idea what I would do or how to start."
"... I just don't have the discipline."
"... my spouse would never go for it."
"... it seems so risky."

Maybe you've said this, or something similar. The problem is, they are all lies.

I truly believe, that if your desire is to be more available to raise your children instead of being gone living in a cubical for nine hours a day, you can make it happen. To get there, you need to ask yourself what is holding you back from achieving your dream?

1. Money This is by far the number one reason I hear people say they can't be a Naptime CEO. But let's be honest, when we say that, we are saying we value our paycheck and our lifestyle more than being with our family. Would you be willing to scale back your lifestyle to achieve your dreams? When I quit my job to launch my consulting firm, we lost 65% of our income! Do you think I was nervous? Absolutely! But my husband and I were willing to make big sacrifices if necessary to make it work. We cut out eating out, we actually got on a budget, we were willing to sell one of our cars, and if necessary our house. Did I really want to sell our house, no, but if we had to scale down to be able to make our dream a reality we would.

2. Getting Started I hear this more so with the moms I talk with than the dads and I believe it's because moms tend to play down and undervalue their skill set. Knowing what your gifts and talents are is a huge first step to building a successful business. Once you know what you are gifted at, then you can begin developing your target market, products or services, and a marketing strategy. For this step it really helps to work with a coach or mentor who can help you see the potential. I've hired coaches before and paid to attend seminars and it was an invaluable investment in myself and my business.

3. Discipline Can you really stay focused on work when you're office is in your home? How many times have you taken a work-from-home day from your regular job and gotten 10x as much accomplished than you do in the office because you don't have the interruptions? Trust me, my husband is convinced I have OSS syndrome- Oh So Shiny syndrome - because I can be so easily distracted. The beauty of being a Naptime CEO is the integration of your work and life. The key is carving out chunks of time for work, home, and play time and being purposeful about what you want to accomplish. Besides, does it really matter if you decide to wash the breakfast dishes at 10 am and write training material at 10 pm?

4. Spousal Support This is a big deal. If you want to become a Naptime CEO, you need to have your spouse on board. Many times, we simply assume our spouse would never go for it without ever discussing the possibility with them. Other times, our spouse is hesitant because they don't know anything about the business we want to start or we haven't shown them a good solid plan. If you get your spouse more involved in what you want to do and have a solid, logical plan, including a reasonable transition, you might be surprised how supportive they can be.

5. Risk The other common reason I hear people say they can't do it is because they think it's too risky. Now some of that may be because they haven't laid out a plan as I mentioned in #4. Often though, it's because there is this false sense of security of being an employee. Yet, as someone who has been laid off in my career and seen other bright, strong performers get laid off, I really believe that entrusting your future and financial stability to a single income source (your employer) is a very risky decision. I would much rather be running a business with three, four, or five different clients plus two other income streams from say product sales and speaking engagements. Then if a client no longer needs my help, I still have other revenue coming in while I replace that one client.

So when you catch yourself saying, "I would love to do that, but..." really evaluate your reason to see if it is a valid reason or if it's just a fear that can be overcome.

If you want to be a Naptime CEO, or are now, what is or has held you back? If you overcame an obstacle, how did you do it?

What Will Make You Change?

When you talk to people about making a change in their life, exercising more, quitting smoking, starting a business, there is usually some type of pain they are trying to heal.

Ever heard the saying, "People change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change?"

My friends that have left their jobs to be stay-at-home moms did so because it was too painful for them to have someone else raising their child. When my dad had to have a stent put in, he quit smoking and started eating healthier. This was my driving force when I started my consulting firm nearly seven years ago, I hated that my husband and I were away from our, then, infant son for 12 hours a day. Practically all we were doing was giving him a place to sleep.

Some of you may be in that place right now; you want to make a change because you just can't keep going on the way you are. By making a change and taking action, (going to the gym, not smoking, attending a starting your business seminar) you begin to heal that pain.

There is another type of pain though that causes people to change: the pain of vision. To be honest, I didn't even recognize this as a catalyst to change until I heard our pastor talking about it during our New Year's Day Vision and Goal Setting seminar. There are times in your life when God will give you the pain of a vision. For me The Naptime CEO has been a pain of vision. For years I have had the vision for this company, but my time was filled with my consulting firm, my children, and my family. However, that all changed about three months ago when God placed the pain of this vision in my heart.

When you have a pain of vision, it is something that compels you to move forward. You try to focus on other tasks or activities, but your vision won't let go of you. The only way to heal this pain is to begin taking action. And let me be the first to tell you that just because you have a vision for what you want or feel are called to do does NOT mean you have the entire map laid out in front of you.

Let me illustrate, when I started my consulting firm (pain of staying the same) I knew what steps to take and had clear goals for three years out. For this venture, I can clearly see what it will become and whom I will be helping, but how I'm going to get there... I can't see that. Fortunately, I know the first steps to take. (I have launched a few businesses in my life) So even though I can't see the entire map, I can begin. Our pastor is also fond of saying "If you know the next step to take, you are not lacking in vision."

So what about you? What do you want to change and more specifically, what kind of pain is going to help you change?

Share what you want to change in the comments, I would love to help or just be able cheer you on.

Making a Difference in 2013

If you're like most people, by the end of January, you will have abandoned your New Year's resolutions and gone back to your same routine from last year.

Even with the best intentions, we slip up and go back to the familiar, what feels comfortable or what we are used to. I've done it myself - most specifically with this blog.

But here's how to make 2013 different. How you can be the one who does achieve their goals this year.

(And may I just say, I am preaching to myself and am doing all of this right along with you.)

1. Where are you right now? If you want to achieve anything this year, you have to know where you're starting from. I have slacked off this blog for most of 2012. I may still have some followers, but I'm pretty much starting off from scratch - again.

2. Where do you want to be? Basic goal-setting states that your goals need to be specific, time-defined, realistic, and measureable. What do you want to have achieved by Dec. 31, 2013? Then break that down into smaller quarterly, monthly, and weekly goals and activities. For me, by the end of 2013, I want The Naptime CEO to be a viable, revenue generating business, which means I need to blog at least once a week. Additionally, to achieve that goal, I plan to launch a teleseminar series and a podcast by June. My action plan  lists out all the steps I need to take and by when to make my goals a reality.

3. Have a clarity of purpose. Want 2013 to be different? Then you need to be very clear on why you are making changes. Hard days will come. Challenges will try to stop you. In those moments - and days - you need to understand why you are doing what you are doing or it will be just too easy to give up and quit. The Naptime CEO has been on my heart for nearly four year now! However, I haven't done much with it for a slew of reasons: not enough time, fear of hurting my consulting business, fear people would think this was a dumb idea (being honest here), unsure of the market, and on and on and on. What will make this year different? The pain of this vision has become so great, that the only way to heal it is to take action. (I have an entire blog coming on just this topic.) My purpose for this business is so clear to me that I simply cannot shake it or make it go away.

4. Who have you told? Accountability is a pretty frightening word for many people, but it's the best way to get anything accomplished. Want to lose weight and get in shape? Get a gym buddy or hire a trainer. Want to earn more money. Plan something fun with some of the extra money and tell your kids about it. A five year old and a six year old are GREAT accountability partners! For me, I'm telling almost everyone I know that I'm launching The Naptime CEO this year because that motivates me personally.

5. Ruthless evaluation. Finally, take a good hard look at what it will take to achieve your goals and honestly decide what you are willing to sacrifice. For me, I can easily give up watching TV and invest that time into my goals. For others, it may be getting up a half hour earlier in the morning. But look at every task you do and how you spend you time and decide if it's worth it. The flip side of this is discovering what you are not willing to sacrifice. For me, I'm not willing to sacrifice my family for my goals.

Following these five steps will get you much closer to your goals than simply making a half-promise to yourself. Share what goals you are working on for this year and how you plan to achieve them. I would be glad to help cheer you on!

You Are Not Just Filler

As I look around at my neighbors, acquaintances, and the people who work for some of my clients, I see a lot of people living life as though they are just filler. Their whole existence seems to consist of getting up, going to work, doing enough to not get fired, going home, tending to a couple family things, going to sleep, and then repeating the whole thing the next day. When you ask them about their day or what's new, they reply - in a very monotone voice - "Fine." or "Not much."

When I see them, I sometimes feel like their physical movement is the only thing that proves they are alive. And maybe that's true, because their spirit certainly seems to have died.

Maybe you can relate to this. Most of us have been there at some point. Here's the good news, you were not made to just exist, you were made to thrive!

To quote motorcycle racer Bill McKenna "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to skid across the line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, shouting 'Geronimo!'"

Too many of us are just wandering through life, trying to not scuff our shoes, step out of line, or draw attention to ourselves.

Wake Up! You are not just filler in this life. You were not made just to take up space and exist until you die.

You are uniquely made with gifts, talents, and strengths no one else has. The perspective you have that has been shaped by your life experiences is different from every other person on this planet.

So for you to go through life, not realizing and living in your unique giftings and talents, is to rob yourself and the world from your special abilities.

Most people want to know that their life has meaning. To leave a legacy, to leave something beyond themselves.

Get inspired, get excited! Take some time to understand yourself better. What fires you up? When do you lose all track of time?

When you look at your life as it exists today, ask yourself, "If I disappeared, would anybody notice or miss me?" If the answer to that is "no, not outside my family," you need to change something.

The world desperately needs what you have to offer, so start figuring out what that is.

Don't Bet On Tomorrow

In my last post I said the first step you need to take to start living life is deciding that is what you want. It's the next step where I see many people falter. The second step is to begin taking action today towards your goal. All too often, I talk with people that have excuses as to why they can't start a business and leave their jobs. If they work three more years, they'll be vested for their stock options, then they can start a business. They're up for a promotion, even though they hate managing people, then they'll have the money for a business. After they get the next quarter's bonus and put on that new deck, then they'll think about starting a new business.

And on, and on, and on it goes.

Listen to me, all of those excuses are based on the assumption that you or your family will be around in three months or three years. You are NOT guaranteed a tomorrow. I know, just over three years ago, I was the one getting the call from the doctor with the diagnosis of malignant melanoma. I had already lost a dear friend to this rare and aggressive cancer and did not want that for my family. (Surprising fact: Every hour, someone dies from Melanoma.)

If you want to start your own business, to spend more time with your children, to have more than just a roommate relationship with your spouse, do something today to get you closer to that goal.

What should you do to get started?
- Conduct an inventory of your skills, strengths, and passions
- Brainstorm a list of ideas for businesses (aim for 40 or 50 ideas)
- Identify where your heart is, what makes it sing or brings up righteous anger?
- Research other businesses in your area
- Assess your market
- Run some financials - personal and projected business
- Look into health insurance options if necessary
- Learn how technology can help you
- Find a mentor or coach to guide you

This is just a short list to get you started, but all of these will get you closer to your goal. Once you start down this path and taking action, you will find you have more energy, feel more alive, and have more patience with your family.

Isn't that what we're working towards in the end?