So I have to confess I have been very conflicted all day over a few issues. Of course, today is the inauguration of our 44th president, Barak Obama. I was a bit surprised at feeling so conflicted. While I did not vote for him, I had committed after the election to be open to his presidency because I believe in our process and our constitution. Yet, when I got up this morning, I felt sad and frustrated when I didn't want to be. I am glad we can look beyond a person's skin color and elect them into office, yet his policies and stance on many issues unnerve me. I will continue to pray for him and all our elected officials, but I'm also going to speak up when I think they're wrong.
The next issue I was conflicted over was actually going to work today. I knew I had to leave and would be gone overnight because I'm doing an all-day training session with a client tomorrow and I didn't want to drive for 2+ hours early in the morning. What caught me off guard was another potential client calling me yesterday to set-up a 1pm meeting today. I should be glad, this is another opportunity of business and a Fortune 500 company which is great for my marketing efforts. the downside is this company is 3 hours from my home in good weather and of course it's snowing today. I didn't really want to leave early, I wanted to hang out with my kids and watch the movie Cars with them (for the 80th time). But since I couldn't risk being late, I left almost four hours before my meeting. It was a good thing, I saw three cars off the road on my way up.
Now, I'm in my room preparing for tomorrow's training. I've talked to Ed who briefly filled me on the day. He said they were tired this evening and he got them bathed and in bed by 7pm. but since he was on his cell phone from work, he couldn't really talk to me for long, so I don't even know what they had for dinner. I miss being home with them, playing, and putting them to bed. On the other hand, I actually got to soak in the tub tonight - which is a rarity for me. So I'm ending my day the same way I began it - conflicted. I enjoy the work I do and am thankful for the opportunity to run my own business and yet, I feel the guilt of being gone - especially overnight.
What I have learned so far, is I'm not going to get it right every time, but I keep trying. (That's becoming a theme on this blog). Fortunately, I get it right more times than I get it wrong. So for now, I'll enjoy the quite time I have and look forward to getting home tomorrow night to the noise and the chaos.
Don't beat yourself up about it! Taking care of YOU once in a while will make you more refreshed and even more excited to see them when you get home! Becoming a mom doesn't mean you shouldn't get to pamper yourself by relaxing in a hot tub without someone coming in to go potty or tell you how they just kicked daddy's butt on the Wii...or something like that! Also think of how great it was that Ed got to spend that alone time with them in the evening. Good for ALL of them, not just him. Kids need alone time with Daddy too.
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