As we are pursuing our goals, there are times when we get stuck. We start going in circles instead of towards our destination. I ran into this problem earlier this year in my business and spent too much time going in circles instead of breaking out and getting back on track to my destination. As I went through that process, I focused on building five habits back into my life. I can't take credit for developing these habits, I picked them up from the book of Proverbs. (If you read that book 12 to 15 times, you'll practically get an MBA, it's in there.)
The preface to all of this is you have to seek to get unstuck. Which means there must be an energy, a passion in your efforts and activity.
1. Don't Be A Loner. If you want to get unstuck or grow in a certain area, you need fresh information coming in to you. Go get counsel from someone who is where you want to be. Get advice from others who truly care about your success and don't have their own agenda.
2. Don't Make Excuses. This usually sounds like, "this isn't going to work, so I'm not even going to try." Listen, when you make excuses it changes your focus away from the real issue. Not only that, but it paralyzes you. You become very good at finding ways to shoot down every potential solution you come up with. Learn to change "I can't ... " to "I can...."
3. Don't Love Comfort and Ease. Don't be a comfort addict. Life is not supposed to be comfortable. If you're comfortable you're not growing. At the end of the day, it's not about how you feel, it's your destiny that matters. You were put on the earth to accomplish something. Change isn't comfortable, get over it, it will help you grow up and mature.
4. Don't Get Preoccupied. When we're stuck and going in circles, we are often just focused on what we are doing. Instead, focus on why you are doing it. If you're a financial coach, you're not just creating budgets, you're transforming families and saving marriages.
5. Don't Be Hard-Headed. Be teachable. Just because you thought it, doesn't make it right. Always be looking, gleaning, growing, seeking. Ask questions. Let others talk more, not you talking about yourself. Read. Five years from now, you will be in the same place except for the conversations you have and the books you read. Be teachable.
By incorporating these habits back into my life, I got myself and my business back on track. I would love to hear what you have done or your thoughts on how to get unstuck.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
You Are Not Just Filler
As I look around at my neighbors, acquaintances, and the people who work for some of my clients, I see a lot of people living life as though they are just filler. Their whole existence seems to consist of getting up, going to work, doing enough to not get fired, going home, tending to a couple family things, going to sleep, and then repeating the whole thing the next day. When you ask them about their day or what's new, they reply - in a very monotone voice - "Fine." or "Not much."
When I see them, I sometimes feel like their physical movement is the only thing that proves they are alive. And maybe that's true, because their spirit certainly seems to have died.
Maybe you can relate to this. Most of us have been there at some point. Here's the good news, you were not made to just exist, you were made to thrive!
To quote motorcycle racer Bill McKenna "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to skid across the line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, shouting 'Geronimo!'"
Too many of us are just wandering through life, trying to not scuff our shoes, step out of line, or draw attention to ourselves.
Wake Up! You are not just filler in this life. You were not made just to take up space and exist until you die.
You are uniquely made with gifts, talents, and strengths no one else has. The perspective you have that has been shaped by your life experiences is different from every other person on this planet.
So for you to go through life, not realizing and living in your unique giftings and talents, is to rob yourself and the world from your special abilities.
Most people want to know that their life has meaning. To leave a legacy, to leave something beyond themselves.
Get inspired, get excited! Take some time to understand yourself better. What fires you up? When do you lose all track of time?
When you look at your life as it exists today, ask yourself, "If I disappeared, would anybody notice or miss me?" If the answer to that is "no, not outside my family," you need to change something.
The world desperately needs what you have to offer, so start figuring out what that is.
When I see them, I sometimes feel like their physical movement is the only thing that proves they are alive. And maybe that's true, because their spirit certainly seems to have died.
Maybe you can relate to this. Most of us have been there at some point. Here's the good news, you were not made to just exist, you were made to thrive!
To quote motorcycle racer Bill McKenna "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to skid across the line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, shouting 'Geronimo!'"
Too many of us are just wandering through life, trying to not scuff our shoes, step out of line, or draw attention to ourselves.
Wake Up! You are not just filler in this life. You were not made just to take up space and exist until you die.
You are uniquely made with gifts, talents, and strengths no one else has. The perspective you have that has been shaped by your life experiences is different from every other person on this planet.
So for you to go through life, not realizing and living in your unique giftings and talents, is to rob yourself and the world from your special abilities.
Most people want to know that their life has meaning. To leave a legacy, to leave something beyond themselves.
Get inspired, get excited! Take some time to understand yourself better. What fires you up? When do you lose all track of time?
When you look at your life as it exists today, ask yourself, "If I disappeared, would anybody notice or miss me?" If the answer to that is "no, not outside my family," you need to change something.
The world desperately needs what you have to offer, so start figuring out what that is.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Are You Striving For......Mediocrity?
You head in to work every day after dropping off your kids at school or daycare and make you way to your office or cube. Check email, check voice mail, review your schedule.
As you go through out your day you have this nagging feeling that you were made for something greater than this. You want to make a difference, make an impact, but it's not happening where you are, and it's not going to.
You feel like an eagle that wants to soar,but someone has put a band around your wings grounding you.
So you drone on through the day, remind yourself that this is called work for a reason, and drag yourself home to your family drained of your energy. You console yourself with the idea that the weekend is coming and you can do what you want then.
Here's the problem, you were made for something greater than this! But everyone around you and everyone you know is living the same life you are.
You're just surviving. You are existing and making it through the day, but your spirit and your passions are dying, if you can even remember what they were.
Why? Why do we allow ourselves to live a life of bland duty, going through the day and the week like a robot?
Because we're afraid. We're afraid others will laugh or criticize our ideas, our dreams.
We're afraid we might fail.
We're afraid we're not smart enough.
We're afraid of what our spouse will say.
We're afraid we won't be able to pay our bills, and what about health insurance?
And on, and on, and on.
The shame is: Fear will always chain us to mediocrity.
When you give up your dreams you surrender to a life of mediocrity. Who wants to live a life of mediocrity? No one, but that's what the majority of Americans choose each and every day.
You were made for greatness.
You were made for such a time as this.
You have unique skills, gifts, and talents that enable you to meet a need that no one else can meet.
By choosing to remain where you are, you are depriving the world of your best - and right now, the world needs your best.
So choose today to strive, not for mediocrity, but for greatness. Together, let's break off the chains that have grounded you and soar!
As you go through out your day you have this nagging feeling that you were made for something greater than this. You want to make a difference, make an impact, but it's not happening where you are, and it's not going to.
You feel like an eagle that wants to soar,but someone has put a band around your wings grounding you.
So you drone on through the day, remind yourself that this is called work for a reason, and drag yourself home to your family drained of your energy. You console yourself with the idea that the weekend is coming and you can do what you want then.
Here's the problem, you were made for something greater than this! But everyone around you and everyone you know is living the same life you are.
You're just surviving. You are existing and making it through the day, but your spirit and your passions are dying, if you can even remember what they were.
Why? Why do we allow ourselves to live a life of bland duty, going through the day and the week like a robot?
Because we're afraid. We're afraid others will laugh or criticize our ideas, our dreams.
We're afraid we might fail.
We're afraid we're not smart enough.
We're afraid of what our spouse will say.
We're afraid we won't be able to pay our bills, and what about health insurance?
And on, and on, and on.
The shame is: Fear will always chain us to mediocrity.
When you give up your dreams you surrender to a life of mediocrity. Who wants to live a life of mediocrity? No one, but that's what the majority of Americans choose each and every day.
You were made for greatness.
You were made for such a time as this.
You have unique skills, gifts, and talents that enable you to meet a need that no one else can meet.
By choosing to remain where you are, you are depriving the world of your best - and right now, the world needs your best.
So choose today to strive, not for mediocrity, but for greatness. Together, let's break off the chains that have grounded you and soar!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Don't Bet On Tomorrow
In my last post I said the first step you need to take to start living life is deciding that is what you want. It's the next step where I see many people falter. The second step is to begin taking action today towards your goal. All too often, I talk with people that have excuses as to why they can't start a business and leave their jobs. If they work three more years, they'll be vested for their stock options, then they can start a business. They're up for a promotion, even though they hate managing people, then they'll have the money for a business. After they get the next quarter's bonus and put on that new deck, then they'll think about starting a new business.
And on, and on, and on it goes.
Listen to me, all of those excuses are based on the assumption that you or your family will be around in three months or three years. You are NOT guaranteed a tomorrow. I know, just over three years ago, I was the one getting the call from the doctor with the diagnosis of malignant melanoma. I had already lost a dear friend to this rare and aggressive cancer and did not want that for my family. (Surprising fact: Every hour, someone dies from Melanoma.)
If you want to start your own business, to spend more time with your children, to have more than just a roommate relationship with your spouse, do something today to get you closer to that goal.
What should you do to get started?
- Conduct an inventory of your skills, strengths, and passions
- Brainstorm a list of ideas for businesses (aim for 40 or 50 ideas)
- Identify where your heart is, what makes it sing or brings up righteous anger?
- Research other businesses in your area
- Assess your market
- Run some financials - personal and projected business
- Look into health insurance options if necessary
- Learn how technology can help you
- Find a mentor or coach to guide you
This is just a short list to get you started, but all of these will get you closer to your goal. Once you start down this path and taking action, you will find you have more energy, feel more alive, and have more patience with your family.
Isn't that what we're working towards in the end?
And on, and on, and on it goes.
Listen to me, all of those excuses are based on the assumption that you or your family will be around in three months or three years. You are NOT guaranteed a tomorrow. I know, just over three years ago, I was the one getting the call from the doctor with the diagnosis of malignant melanoma. I had already lost a dear friend to this rare and aggressive cancer and did not want that for my family. (Surprising fact: Every hour, someone dies from Melanoma.)
If you want to start your own business, to spend more time with your children, to have more than just a roommate relationship with your spouse, do something today to get you closer to that goal.
What should you do to get started?
- Conduct an inventory of your skills, strengths, and passions
- Brainstorm a list of ideas for businesses (aim for 40 or 50 ideas)
- Identify where your heart is, what makes it sing or brings up righteous anger?
- Research other businesses in your area
- Assess your market
- Run some financials - personal and projected business
- Look into health insurance options if necessary
- Learn how technology can help you
- Find a mentor or coach to guide you
This is just a short list to get you started, but all of these will get you closer to your goal. Once you start down this path and taking action, you will find you have more energy, feel more alive, and have more patience with your family.
Isn't that what we're working towards in the end?
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Forget Work/Life Balance, I Just Want A Life!
In the halls and offices of Corporate America, HR directors and other managers talk about the importance of work/life balance and come up with different slogans and posters. Yet at the end of the day, most professionals are working 50 to 60 hours a week in the office, some worse than that. Add on your commute time and the work you do at home and pretty soon you're over 70 hours a week!
How are you supposed to balance your life with that?
In my opinion, you can't.
In my last corporate job, my commute was an hour and a half each way. Since both my husband and I worked in the city, we would wake our then infant son at 5:30 am to get him dropped off at daycare by 6:15 am. We would then work until 5 pm, hopefully get to daycare by 6:30 pm to pick up our son, and arrive home 20 minutes later. After getting changed and making & eating dinner, we would have about an hour to spend with our baby before his bath at 8:30 pm and he was asleep by 9 pm.
What kind of life was that? All we were doing was giving our son a place to sleep.
It was at this point we decided to make a change, that the life we were living was not the life we wanted for our family. I had known for a couple years that I wanted to start a consulting firm, so it didn't take long for me to write up my business and marketing plan. Two short months later, I left my corporate job and became self-employed. (More on that in another post) During naptimes, I ran my consulting firm emailing prospects and scheduling client calls; while my child was awake, I was just mommy. Within 18 months, I was generating more revenues than I had earned as a salary. The best part, was I did almost all my work during naptimes and at night after my children were asleep. On those few occasions when I had to be at a client's office, my children had play dates at a friend's house or spent time with their Pappy.
This was more of a life. This is my desire for you. That you can take your children to the park on a Tuesday morning, teach them how to bake cookies, or just fly a kite on a Wednesday afternoon. The first step is deciding that you want more than just work/life balance, that you want a life.
How are you supposed to balance your life with that?
In my opinion, you can't.
In my last corporate job, my commute was an hour and a half each way. Since both my husband and I worked in the city, we would wake our then infant son at 5:30 am to get him dropped off at daycare by 6:15 am. We would then work until 5 pm, hopefully get to daycare by 6:30 pm to pick up our son, and arrive home 20 minutes later. After getting changed and making & eating dinner, we would have about an hour to spend with our baby before his bath at 8:30 pm and he was asleep by 9 pm.
What kind of life was that? All we were doing was giving our son a place to sleep.
It was at this point we decided to make a change, that the life we were living was not the life we wanted for our family. I had known for a couple years that I wanted to start a consulting firm, so it didn't take long for me to write up my business and marketing plan. Two short months later, I left my corporate job and became self-employed. (More on that in another post) During naptimes, I ran my consulting firm emailing prospects and scheduling client calls; while my child was awake, I was just mommy. Within 18 months, I was generating more revenues than I had earned as a salary. The best part, was I did almost all my work during naptimes and at night after my children were asleep. On those few occasions when I had to be at a client's office, my children had play dates at a friend's house or spent time with their Pappy.
This was more of a life. This is my desire for you. That you can take your children to the park on a Tuesday morning, teach them how to bake cookies, or just fly a kite on a Wednesday afternoon. The first step is deciding that you want more than just work/life balance, that you want a life.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Relaunch of Naptime CEO
To those of you who have subscribed to my blog and have read it, I wanted to let you know a couple things.
First, I am relaunching this blog. If you haven't noticed, I haven't posted anything here in over a year. Most of that year has been spent having a really rough time with my business, rediscovering my passion, and reorganizing by business. Out of that journey I have discovered my passion and heart for parents working in corporate America who are burned out, stressed out, and barely seeing their children. My vision is to help them find a way to pursue self-employment so their life is more balanced, their marriages are stronger, and they are move involved in the lives of their children.
Second, this blog is going to be a part of that vision. Originally it was a nice way to jot down some humorous things that happened and give you a view into my life and how I try to balance all the pieces of my life. I will still include some of those glimpses, but mostly I am going to be talking about why I believe, as parents, we need to be pursuing self-employment, how to go about doing that responsibly, and the impact that has on all aspects of our families and communities.
As for me, I am still running my consulting firm and expect to continue doing that. However, I will be devoting a fair amount of time to this new focus. I hope to be able to not just blog about this passion of mine, but also work with individuals one-on-one, run some seminars, and begin speaking.
I'm hoping you will give me feedback as I start down this journey. I really want to know what you think, so we can all learn and become better. It's going to be a great journey!
First, I am relaunching this blog. If you haven't noticed, I haven't posted anything here in over a year. Most of that year has been spent having a really rough time with my business, rediscovering my passion, and reorganizing by business. Out of that journey I have discovered my passion and heart for parents working in corporate America who are burned out, stressed out, and barely seeing their children. My vision is to help them find a way to pursue self-employment so their life is more balanced, their marriages are stronger, and they are move involved in the lives of their children.
Second, this blog is going to be a part of that vision. Originally it was a nice way to jot down some humorous things that happened and give you a view into my life and how I try to balance all the pieces of my life. I will still include some of those glimpses, but mostly I am going to be talking about why I believe, as parents, we need to be pursuing self-employment, how to go about doing that responsibly, and the impact that has on all aspects of our families and communities.
As for me, I am still running my consulting firm and expect to continue doing that. However, I will be devoting a fair amount of time to this new focus. I hope to be able to not just blog about this passion of mine, but also work with individuals one-on-one, run some seminars, and begin speaking.
I'm hoping you will give me feedback as I start down this journey. I really want to know what you think, so we can all learn and become better. It's going to be a great journey!
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