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Overcoming the Obstacles to Your Dreams

It breaks my heart to see and hear so many parents who want to be more involved in raising their children and yet feel trapped in their current situation unable to make a change. It's as if they are standing on the edge of a cliff and can see the promised land, but just don't know how to get there.

When I talk with my friends who are still working full-time, they often will say, "I wish I could run a business from home like you do, but..."

"... I would never make as much as I do now."
"... I have no idea what I would do or how to start."
"... I just don't have the discipline."
"... my spouse would never go for it."
"... it seems so risky."

Maybe you've said this, or something similar. The problem is, they are all lies.

I truly believe, that if your desire is to be more available to raise your children instead of being gone living in a cubical for nine hours a day, you can make it happen. To get there, you need to ask yourself what is holding you back from achieving your dream?

1. Money This is by far the number one reason I hear people say they can't be a Naptime CEO. But let's be honest, when we say that, we are saying we value our paycheck and our lifestyle more than being with our family. Would you be willing to scale back your lifestyle to achieve your dreams? When I quit my job to launch my consulting firm, we lost 65% of our income! Do you think I was nervous? Absolutely! But my husband and I were willing to make big sacrifices if necessary to make it work. We cut out eating out, we actually got on a budget, we were willing to sell one of our cars, and if necessary our house. Did I really want to sell our house, no, but if we had to scale down to be able to make our dream a reality we would.

2. Getting Started I hear this more so with the moms I talk with than the dads and I believe it's because moms tend to play down and undervalue their skill set. Knowing what your gifts and talents are is a huge first step to building a successful business. Once you know what you are gifted at, then you can begin developing your target market, products or services, and a marketing strategy. For this step it really helps to work with a coach or mentor who can help you see the potential. I've hired coaches before and paid to attend seminars and it was an invaluable investment in myself and my business.

3. Discipline Can you really stay focused on work when you're office is in your home? How many times have you taken a work-from-home day from your regular job and gotten 10x as much accomplished than you do in the office because you don't have the interruptions? Trust me, my husband is convinced I have OSS syndrome- Oh So Shiny syndrome - because I can be so easily distracted. The beauty of being a Naptime CEO is the integration of your work and life. The key is carving out chunks of time for work, home, and play time and being purposeful about what you want to accomplish. Besides, does it really matter if you decide to wash the breakfast dishes at 10 am and write training material at 10 pm?

4. Spousal Support This is a big deal. If you want to become a Naptime CEO, you need to have your spouse on board. Many times, we simply assume our spouse would never go for it without ever discussing the possibility with them. Other times, our spouse is hesitant because they don't know anything about the business we want to start or we haven't shown them a good solid plan. If you get your spouse more involved in what you want to do and have a solid, logical plan, including a reasonable transition, you might be surprised how supportive they can be.

5. Risk The other common reason I hear people say they can't do it is because they think it's too risky. Now some of that may be because they haven't laid out a plan as I mentioned in #4. Often though, it's because there is this false sense of security of being an employee. Yet, as someone who has been laid off in my career and seen other bright, strong performers get laid off, I really believe that entrusting your future and financial stability to a single income source (your employer) is a very risky decision. I would much rather be running a business with three, four, or five different clients plus two other income streams from say product sales and speaking engagements. Then if a client no longer needs my help, I still have other revenue coming in while I replace that one client.

So when you catch yourself saying, "I would love to do that, but..." really evaluate your reason to see if it is a valid reason or if it's just a fear that can be overcome.

If you want to be a Naptime CEO, or are now, what is or has held you back? If you overcame an obstacle, how did you do it?

The Proverbs 31 Woman versus Super Mom

I had posted a question on The Naptime CEO Facebook page about which characteristic of the Proverbs 31 woman is your favorite. Surprisingly, some of the responses were that she hires people to help. This is a topic that is full of conflict for many moms.

If I asked you if you could use help around your house, how many of you would say yes?
Now, how many of you would feel guilty for having someone else come in to help around your house?

I fully admit I need help around the house, but for the longest time I felt like I was failing as a wife/mother/business owner if I didn't do it all myself. The problem was I wasn't getting any of it done well.

If you're at all like me, I'm a control freak who thinks it's easier if I just do it myself instead of asking someone else to do it. However, I've learned whenever I think "Oh, I can do that." I need to tell myself "STOP" and really think if it's something only I can do or could someone else do that.

Initially, when I started my consulting firm, I had to do it all. I had very little money to pay anyone else, and I had plenty of time. Honestly, at the time I had a 6 month old and I was fine just working during naptimes. Yet, once my daughter was born, I realized trying to run a consulting firm during naptimes with a newborn and an 18 month old was just too difficult. I needed a babysitter. This was the first time I hired someone to help me. Our babysitter watched our children two mornings a week so I could have actual office hours to get work done, schedule phone calls, & meetings. If you're just starting out, this is probably where you will start too.

The next step for me was to get help around the house. When I'm working with clients all day or in my office, I'm not doing laundry, dishes, vacuuming, or scrubbing toilets. Then when the kids get home from school, I'm in Mama mode with dinner, homework, piano, dance lessons, & cub scouts. By the time everyone is tucked in and the dinner dishes are done, I am beat. It took me a while to agree, but I finally hired a cleaning service to come in every two weeks.

At the same time I was getting my house under control, I was also bringing in help in my consulting firm. I hired a college student to do administrative work for me. Finally, I didn't have to spend hours entering data into our customer database, recording expenses in QuickBooks, or filing paperwork.

What I've discovered through this process is as I hand off tasks to others, I free myself up to be able to do more business development work or just spending time with my kids. I'm still a control freak, but am learning to relax and delegate.

What task(s) have you gotten help with - or would like to get help with?

When I Grow Up....

Do you remember being a child and what you wanted to be when you grew up?

I remember wanting to be "on the stage," a paleontologist, and a truck driver (no lie!).

Entrepreneur was never on my list, although I am often "on the stage." :)

What is fascinating to me is how we as parents influence our children, just by the type of work we pursue. I grew up in a home with parents who worked traditional jobs just like all my friends' parents. My dad worked in construction and my mom worked in a doctor's office once my sister and I were both in school. So growing up, I remember playing "college" and putting on performances on our back deck.

My children on the other hand, have grown up with an entrepreneur for a Mama. My nearly 7 y.o. son for years has insisted that he is NOT going to college because he is going to start a business instead. Two years ago he was going to open his own karate school and call it the School of the Laughing Dragon. For the past year, he has decided he wants to own a mall that has an indoor water park in it. He also wants to design and invent different contraptions and sell them.

My 5 y.o. daughter also plans to start her own business. She is currently going back and forth between opening a dance academy or a day spa. While some children play doctor or teacher, my kids walk around pretending they are on the phone or their laptops with their clients trying to close contracts. (Trust me, they also spend lots of time chasing each other around pretending they're dogs or horses.)

When I think back to being 16 and trying to decide what I wanted to do when I grew up, it seemed the options were very narrow. I loved playing the piano and performing on stage but I was also very good at at science and math. So the logic went something like this... it's very difficult to make a living in the performing arts and I can always have that in my life so I'll pursue science. I like solving problems, so I guess that means I'll be an engineer. Case closed. No thought into what my strengths or weaknesses were - I actually don't like details. No thought into what I was passionate about or what type of environment would be best for me. Working in a cube was stifling for me.

Now I see the world differently and it seems that has opened so many more options for my children. We talk about things like what they are gifted at doing, logos, and the difference between cost and profit. Not only do they hear it from me, but they are around our friends who are business owners.

Do they understand all of this - no, I'm sure not. But, I believe it is sinking in.

Does this mean they are definitely going to be entrepreneurs? Not at all, and that's okay. My hope is that they grow up having a much clearer understanding of how God has gifted them and the unique role they have in His plan. Which would put them much further ahead than I was.

What did you want to do when you grew up and how are you trying to guide your children?

Top 10 Things To Do During Naptime

Ahh, it's that blissful time of day when your little one has gone down for a nap. So what should you do with the next hour and a half? (or more if you're lucky) Resist the temptation to nap yourself and try this list.

1. Make a cup of coffee or tea so you can actually enjoy it while it's still hot and you tackle the rest of your list.

2. Write a blog post so you are adding new content to your site for your followers and clients. Do this first before the next few items so you are doing something proactive to build your business.

3. Check voice mails and return calls. It's early enough into naptime that the risk of your child waking up is low and it's far enough into naptime, that they should be asleep by now.

4. Check emails and reply to them. Emails always come after voice mails, because they tend to be less urgent and you can always save a draft if you have to quickly tend to your child.

5. SCAN social media sites. This can be a big time suck which is why it's further down the list. Quickly scan your feeds for any interaction, retweets, comments, repins, etc. Reply as appropriate, but set yourself a time limit - say 15 minutes.

6. Shift the laundry. Yes, you're a naptime CEO, but you still need to manage your home too. This is also a good way to limit your time on social media.

7. Find one or two good articles or blog posts to share. These can be for your social media feeds, upcoming newsletter, clients, or prospects. It helps you stay on top of your industry and positions you as a resource for your clients.

8. Empty and refill the dishwasher. It's probably mid afternoon by now and it's a good time to clean up the kitchen from breakfast and lunch. It will help you stay on track so you don't spend the rest of naptime reading blogs and make sure the kitchen is ready for snack time and dinner.

9. Work on proposal. If you have client work that can be done in 30 minutes or less or that can be broken into sections, do it now. It helps you build momentum so you complete more of your tasks and positions you for your next big work session. I often outline my proposals or training material then fill in all the details at night.

10. Update QuickBooks. This is something that needs to be done on a daily or weekly basis. Trust me, you do not want this to pile up and have to do it all at the end of the month or - heaven forbid - the end of the quarter. I've been there and it's not fun.

Bonus: Realize that even with the best planning, it will be hard to get through your entire To Do list. If your children are still in the phase where they take two naps a day, break up your list. If not, just break it up between you naptime work session and your night or early morning work session. But don't beat yourself up if you don't get it all done, because tomorrow is another day. I always reminded myself that a bad day as a Naptime CEO was still better than a good day living in a cubical.

Make a difference

Remember: it's not just the difference we are trying to make in the world through our careers, but the difference we are trying to make in our children's lives as their parent. You can do that consciously or unconsciously, but either way, good or bad, everything we do makes a difference. I choose to be deliberate about it, how about you?

What Will Make You Change?

When you talk to people about making a change in their life, exercising more, quitting smoking, starting a business, there is usually some type of pain they are trying to heal.

Ever heard the saying, "People change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change?"

My friends that have left their jobs to be stay-at-home moms did so because it was too painful for them to have someone else raising their child. When my dad had to have a stent put in, he quit smoking and started eating healthier. This was my driving force when I started my consulting firm nearly seven years ago, I hated that my husband and I were away from our, then, infant son for 12 hours a day. Practically all we were doing was giving him a place to sleep.

Some of you may be in that place right now; you want to make a change because you just can't keep going on the way you are. By making a change and taking action, (going to the gym, not smoking, attending a starting your business seminar) you begin to heal that pain.

There is another type of pain though that causes people to change: the pain of vision. To be honest, I didn't even recognize this as a catalyst to change until I heard our pastor talking about it during our New Year's Day Vision and Goal Setting seminar. There are times in your life when God will give you the pain of a vision. For me The Naptime CEO has been a pain of vision. For years I have had the vision for this company, but my time was filled with my consulting firm, my children, and my family. However, that all changed about three months ago when God placed the pain of this vision in my heart.

When you have a pain of vision, it is something that compels you to move forward. You try to focus on other tasks or activities, but your vision won't let go of you. The only way to heal this pain is to begin taking action. And let me be the first to tell you that just because you have a vision for what you want or feel are called to do does NOT mean you have the entire map laid out in front of you.

Let me illustrate, when I started my consulting firm (pain of staying the same) I knew what steps to take and had clear goals for three years out. For this venture, I can clearly see what it will become and whom I will be helping, but how I'm going to get there... I can't see that. Fortunately, I know the first steps to take. (I have launched a few businesses in my life) So even though I can't see the entire map, I can begin. Our pastor is also fond of saying "If you know the next step to take, you are not lacking in vision."

So what about you? What do you want to change and more specifically, what kind of pain is going to help you change?

Share what you want to change in the comments, I would love to help or just be able cheer you on.